Many parents enter the custody process feeling overwhelmed, especially when they are hearing conflic...

Many parents enter the custody process feeling overwhelmed, especially when they are hearing conflicting information from friends or family. Misunderstandings about how custody decisions work can create unnecessary stress and tension between co-parents. This guide breaks down five of the most common myths surrounding custody and explains what the law actually considers when determining arrangements that support a child’s well-being.

Myth #1: Mothers Automatically Receive Custody

A long-standing belief is that mothers are always favored in custody decisions. While that assumption may have reflected past patterns, it is no longer how courts approach custody today.

Modern custody rulings start from the idea that both parents are equally important in a child’s life. Judges evaluate factors such as who provides daily care, the strength of each parent’s relationship with the child, the stability of each home environment, and each parent’s work commitments. These considerations apply regardless of gender.

Courts frequently award joint or even primary custody to fathers when the evidence shows they are actively involved and able to meet the child’s needs. Ultimately, the court’s focus is always on what arrangement best supports the child’s safety, emotional well-being, and daily routine, not on traditional assumptions about parenting roles.

Myth #2: Children Can Decide Where They Want to Live

Another common misconception is that children gain the right to choose their custodial parent once they reach a certain age. While a child’s input may be considered, it is never the single deciding factor in a custody case.

Judges may take a child’s preferences into account—especially for older children or those who demonstrate maturity—but they also examine the reasons behind the child’s choice. Wanting fewer rules, for example, is unlikely to carry as much significance as wanting to remain in the same school district or stay near supportive relationships.

Sometimes the court appoints a guardian ad litem (GAL) to meet with the child and provide insight that can guide the court’s decision. This process helps ensure the child’s perspective is heard without placing them directly in the conflict between parents. Even with this input, the judge must consider all relevant factors and make a determination based on the child’s overall best interest.

Myth #3: Joint Custody Guarantees a 50/50 Time Split

The term “joint custody” often leads to confusion about what it actually means. Many parents assume that joint custody guarantees an equal division of time, but that is not necessarily true.

Custody has two main components: legal custody, which involves making major decisions for the child, and physical custody, which refers to where the child lives. Parents may share legal custody while still having an unequal division of parenting time.

How time is divided depends on factors such as school schedules, parental work hours, and the distance between the parents’ homes. Courts aim to create a schedule that supports the child’s stability and works realistically for the family—not one that meets an arbitrary 50/50 standard.

Myth #4: Full Custody Eliminates Child Support

Some parents believe that gaining full custody means child support automatically ends. In reality, custody and child support are two separate legal issues.

Child support exists to ensure both parents contribute to the child’s financial needs. When determining support, courts look at each parent’s income and consider expenses such as food, housing, clothing, and healthcare, along with education or childcare costs.

Even when one parent receives full physical custody, the other parent may still have a financial responsibility to help meet the child’s needs. The purpose of child support is not to reward one parent or penalize the other—it is to provide stability and resources for the child.

Myth #5: You Can Withhold Parenting Time if Child Support Isn’t Paid

One of the most damaging misunderstandings is the belief that a parent can deny visitation if the other parent stops paying child support. Courts treat visitation and child support as completely separate matters.

If a parent falls behind on payments, the solution is to return to court to address the issue—not to withhold time with the child. Judges have tools such as wage garnishment, license suspension, and fines to enforce child support obligations, but they do not want children to lose valuable time with a parent because of financial disputes.

Denying court-ordered parenting time can backfire and harm your own legal position. Following the proper legal channels protects your rights, supports your child, and shows the court you are acting responsibly.

Need Guidance on a Custody Matter?

If you are considering a new custody arrangement or feel that your current plan no longer works, seeking reliable legal support is essential. You don’t have to navigate this difficult process alone.

Reach out today to discuss your situation and explore your options. The right guidance can help you make informed decisions and pursue a solution that serves the best interests of your child and your family.